when i was 4 i accidentally killed a ladybug. it landed on my hand and i was watching it crawl around and i was so mesmerized. i tried to pick it up, and i squished it. i will never forget that, for some reason. i just sat down right there and cried and cried. afterward i always assumed all ladybugs would know i was a murderer but they wouldn’t judge me because they were too nice, but i felt so guilty and didn’t want them to see me. it was so weird lol if i ever found dead ladybugs as a little kid i would bury them and give them headstones. silly. i was a silly girl.
❝ And silence, like darkness, can be kind; it, too, is a language. ❞
Hanif Kureishi, from Intimacy (Scribner, 1999)
my kahlua zeldick
my mom called me to let me know she got an email notification on one of my amazon purchases. she said ‘your….kahlua….zeldick….has shipped’. it was so cute….mom…..